I have heard so many times just how important self-care is, especially as a Mom. So many times. It got to the point where the mere mention caused me to instantly feel a mixture of rage and guilt.
I am a Mom of two kiddos, both of whom I homeschool. Which means I am often a bit frazzled. I want to be the best mom, wife, friend, sister, leader possible. Introverted, on a budget and learning to overcome social anxiety, I struggle with most of the forms of self-care prescribed via the interwebs. Buying things or paying for spa services won’t really help me in the long run and I end up feeling guilty for spending the money. Don’t get me wrong, there are occasional indulgences, however it’s not a regular thing.
This has caused me to really stop and consider what I need to feel recharged and cared for, so that I can figure out what I need to be doing to help myself. I have sat down, closed my eyes and tried to picture what would feel the most peaceful. Usually, this exercise is interrupted by a kid screaming or something crashing to the ground. Yeah. Calgon? (Is that still a saying or am I showing my age?)
So, when I am able to stop and think, I try to think about why I end up feeling so run down. Personally, it has to do with not feeling like I am doing anything worthwhile. That nagging feeling that I am failing at everything. All Moms struggle with that sense of not doing enough or not doing things right. It can overwhelm us and push us past the point of frazzled.
I have found that, often by simply writing down the things I am doing right, helps me so much. Even the little things we overlook, uhm… “got out of bed and was present with my family.” List out the things that I know I am doing right and how I can do better at the other things.
Also, challenging myself to try new things helps so much. I often tell my kids that they can do hard things and I decided to start telling myself that too. Learning a new skill does wonders for the soul. I have never been good at math. So, I decided last year to start working on improving that skill in myself. Now, I know most people don’t look at math as self care, I get it. For me, developing that skill brings a sense of accomplishment, and that brings a sense of peace.
Some days, self care is painting my nails wacky colors with my 4-year-old and dancing in the living room with my 9-year-old. Other days it’s making myself a nice cup of tea in the afternoon or letting myself veg out while playing mindless games on my phone.
Self care is more about learning about yourself and what you truly need than anything. We spend so much time getting to know just what makes our families tick and what they need, why not put some energy into what we need? Take the time to really take stock of why you feel tired, burned out or frazzled. Don’t simply put a bandaid on it, but get to the source of what will help.
Comment below with your own ideas or questions about where to find resources.